Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Goofy for YUMs

How much is a Young Unmated Male (YUM) worth in 2009 dollars? About $4 billion — the price Disney is offering for Marvel Comics and its stable of heroes and monsters. According to Reuters, this price is 37 times Marvel's actual value, but Disney was feeling the pressure to rein in more YUM consumers and the potential billions of dollars in tie-in possibilities.

Axe: Spider Man Edition (Catch the chicks in your web of scent!)
Maxim: Special Double Issue Featuring Dead Girl and Invisible Woman, Mostly Nude (Completely nude, in the case of Invisible Woman — who's gonna prove otherwise?)
Red Bull: Hulk-ing Energy Formula (You really don't want to see yourself mad.)

And on and on. 37 times the actual value. Like, if WB could sell its 2001 pickup — worth about $6,000 — for $222,000. That would be sweet!

And insane. But hey, it's not like anything more important than attracting YUMs is going on in the world right now. Everyone's healthy, happy, and fully employed, and the climate's doing great. Bring on the scantily clad superheroines and princesses.

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