Monday, August 4, 2008

Pop Cult Nuggets #1

pop cult nugget, n. - a little tidbit of information from the past week's happenings, followed by an even smaller tidbit of commentary.

Amy Winehouse was reportedly hospitalized for an "adverse reaction to a medication" designed to help her kick drug abuse. Is that the epitome of irony, or what?

Criss Angel blew himself up in a building demolition trick gone horribly wrong on live TV... and miraculously survived! We know that none of it was staged, because it's just impossible to edit anything on live TV.

Shia LaBeouf rolled his truck after pulling an alleged DUI. A quick-thinking entrepreneur put pieces of the actual wreckage up for sale on eBay. We know that the glass and plastic were genuine LaBeouf wreckage, because it's just impossible to get smashed-car parts from any junk yard.

None of it mattered when the cops announced that the actor had been broadsided by some idiot who ran a red light — and the whole DUI thing was kinda foggy now. The eBayer, who'd labeled Shia a "driving challenged moron" with a "dumb name," had to cancel the sale because of "an error in the listing."

Mitch Winehouse, an apparent master of self-diagnosis for his daughter Amy, announced that her "adverse reaction to medication" was actually convulsions brought on by someone plopping Ecstasy into her drink. He vowed to catch and punish whoever did it.

WB suggests hiring O.J. Simpson, who's still looking for whoever did it, too. But he's only available to work until September 8 when his next trial begins for armed robbery.*

*The NFL's Pro Football Hall of Fame, demonstrating the term "Orwellian," mentions none of this.


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