Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Love Stronger Than Marketing Campaign Induced Ideology

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Watching some show or another the other day, we encountered the 10,000th iteration of this scene:

Woman 1: (puts a stack of papers on a desk, with diamond engagement ring clearly in frame)

Woman 2: "Damn, girl, your man loves you a lot. Look at that rock!"

Which was our cue to commence eye rolling and head shaking, because the facts behind this scene propaganda have been known for decades, but the bullshit just keeps rolling along. Diamonds aren't scarce, they're not valuable, they're not special in any way. They're just evidence of the world's most successful long con, swindling men of "at least three months' salary" (the official measure, according to the diamond industry, of an acceptable engagement ring) when that money could do a whole lot of good elsewise for the newly married couple.

The "salary" is presumably gross, not net. (Don't be a cheap bastard, you cheap bastard!)

So consider: the well-paid junior executive who earns $130K per year "must" set out $32,500 for the token of his love and esteem. And the kid managing a restaurant for little more than minimum wage, let's say $600 per week, "needs" to lay aside $7,200.

For a shiny rock worth maybe 15% of its retail price. (Somebody should get paid for the band and for transporting it from assembly to showcase.)

But speaking of metal: who wouldn't want love that's strong as steel, rather than love that's like a rock? Especially when that steel can never be stained or marred; it would always be pristine and unblemished like the love itself.

And yeah, we're doing advertising talk now, to make a point. The diamond ring up there retails for $975. (Imagine the gross pay, if that's three months' salary!) And the stainless-steel counterpart on the left goes for $7.

That's because there's no stainless-steel cartel to shove any phony "rare and precious" ideologies down consumer throats, as there is for diamonds shiny rocks.

So come on, join the Wildeboomerz movement to start a whole new ideology and bump the tired—and harmful—DeBeers one out of our collective consciousness. From now on, just repeat:

STAINLESS STEEL IS FOREVER. 

SHOW HER YOUR LOVE IS STRONG—
GIVE HER THE GIFT OF STEEL. 

Yeah, sounds strange now. But after a few thousand repetitions (like a DeBeers ad campaign), it'll become easy and natural.

Until then, use that $32,000, or $7,200, or $975, on a house or a car that'll last longer than sparkly corporate bullshit. And if she calls you a cheap bastard, run fast and far, because she never loved you anyway.
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